YouTube is fantastic. I love watching old adverts for cigarettes that, to all intents and purposes, say “Smoking is Good For You”. They wheel out ‘doctors’ who tell you of the benefits of the odd fag or, in some circumstances, use Flintstones characters to promote Winston cigarettes. In days gone by an advertiser could pretty much say anything they wanted and get away with it. If you need an ‘expert’, find one, chuck a few hundred pounds towards them and they would say anything that you wanted to. Then regulations came in to make sure that any claims made were accurate. Long gone are the days of “This MG car will make any women fall in love with you” or “A bottle of Vodka a day improves your liver functions”. You can’t even imply something that is not provable, and campaigns such as the Lynx deodorant “The Lynx effect”, which implies that using their product will get the attention of the female sex, could be deemed to be skating on very thin ice.
Aside from cigs, alcohol advertising is severely restricted. Using Micky Mouse to promote a beer would be a severe no no, as it could appeal to children. Suggesting that any booze can make you more physically attractive to the opposite, or same, sex is prohibited and you simply cannot promote excessive drinking.
Today I was shown some wines from Spain that said “sod it” to the rules. In pidgin English, the back labels said:
WINE IS –
Blood Vessel Dilater
Soothing
Diuretic
Fattiness Absorption Helper
Good Cholesterol Stimulant
THEREFORE WINE PREVENTS OR REDUCES RISKS OF THE FOLLOWING DISEASES –
Alzheimer
Cancer
Heart Attack
Cardiovascular Pathologies
Ocular Diseases
Hypertension
Brilliant! As a man who is not unfamiliar with the odd pie and who is short sighted, these wines might be my saviour. I could have my fattiness absorbed and my eyesight restored. Throw in the fact that any stress I might suffer from work will be prevented by this wonder wine, and I figure I shouldn’t drink any other liquid ever again. The producer was Baron Ladron de Guevara and aside from the miracle cure capabilities of these drinks, the wines are quite good!
A 2007 White Rioja was lovely. Not the usual oakfest you get, but pineapple chunks, quite a floral nose with a lovely grassy softness. A little fruit sweetness comes through with good minerality and good acidity.
The 2007 Red Rioja had a lot of rich, sweet cassis on the palate. A menthol element kicked in too, with a nice, dry dark fruit flavoured palate. Warm alcohol, nice spice and black pepper rounded this off. Nice stuff.
Both priced at £7.99 and imported by Raymond Reynolds Ltd. I'm off to drink a few barrels worth. Who needs the Atkins plan?
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